Managing Emotion

I am currently on a flight from Juneau Alaska to Portland Oregon, my home state. My fear of heights is nearly debilitating. The word nearly is critical in this context. In fact, I am so afraid of heights that I won’t climb onto a chair to change a burned out light...

Jealousy

When I was seven years old my brother and I spent occasional weekends at our paternal grandmother’s house. We loved visiting because she baked cookies and pies for us and let us eat as much as we wanted. She also taught us to play poker for quarters. Our mother was...

Fighting Your Way to Divorce

Anyone who has been in a serious relationship has probably experienced the pain of a relationship fight. Some couples are lucky enough to enter into a romantic relationship already equipped with the skills necessary to have an argument without seriously hurting each...

Suffering as a Way to Create a Better Life

When we are in pain, most of us do whatever we can to escape the feeling. While some things that cause us pain are totally outside of our control (and those things must be endured if not accepted) often times we can make changes in our lives that reduce our suffering....

The Healthy Fight

A few years ago a colleague of mine told me to stop writing blogs. She said, “They won’t buy the cow if the milk is free.” I ignored the advice because I highly value blogs, especially where therapists are concerned. Blogs are a way for you to get a feel for the kind...